How to Help Children Learn the Letters of the Alphabet

Learning to name the letters of the alphabet can be a daunting task for some young children.  Rote memorization of very abstract symbols is not engaging for everyone’s brains! Some children have no problem learning the alphabet, while others struggle, causing frustration and concern for you, the parent.

Consider Readiness

First, I want to stress reading readiness. This is a language task, leading to phonics and reading. Not all children are ready at the exact same time. If you’re a homeschooling mom, you can take advantage of your situation to adjust curriculum accordingly with your children. If your child is in school and you’re trying to help them learn, you may be feeling overwhelmed and concerned that your child is going to fall behind his or her classmates. However, take heart – your child will learn his letters when he’s ready. I have confidence in this.

My brother was riding a bike almost as soon as he could walk (maybe not quite that quickly, but in my imagination he was a tiny little boy on a bike with no pedals, flying through the yard at speeds desirable for boys, heart attack inducing for mothers).  On the other hand, I talked in sentences by the time I was one year old, but didn’t even walk, much less run or balance metal contraptions, until several months later. (Technically, the balancing a bike part was many years later for me!)   

I saw similar, but perhaps not quite as drastic, developmental differences in my own three children.

Each person has a unique personality, learning style preference, and strengths and weaknesses specific to them. That is not a bad thing at all. We must remember this when children reach school age. All too often, comparison and the pressures of teaching to many in a classroom overrides development of individual talents and respect for individual readiness.

Don’t Lose Sight of the Bigger Goal

Also, I want to stress the primary goal. Learning to identify the alphabet will come. In the meantime, don’t lose sight of the bigger picture. Reading and a love for books should not be sacrificed at any cost. If laboring over the identification of “A” is causing too much stress, take a deep breath and step away from the situation for a moment. Remember that your child will not still be struggling with this when they are 30 years old, but what you do at this time could determine whether or not your child has grown into a lifelong reader at 30 years old. It could set the stage for your child’s impression of learning – setting them up as a lifelong learner or discouraging them from anything that seems academic. Additionally, if a sensitive child senses disappointment or decides they are not good at something, it could affect their impression of their ability to achieve academic success, and create anxiety when new material that they find difficult is introduced later.

So, having said all of that, here are some ideas for helping your child learn the alphabet. Use any or all of these ideas, and feel free to discard or amend any ideas that cause frustration or don’t work. Have confidence in your ability to ‘read’ your child. Don’t be afraid to try ideas but also don’t be afraid to discard the things that don’t work.

A New Use for Flash Cards

I would forget flash cards in the traditional sense, if they aren’t working. Flash cards are widely used, and helpful for kids that are visual. These are kids that usually don’t struggle with this sort of memorization anyway. Therefore, flash cards provide these learners with visual reinforcement and repetitive practice.

For other learners, I would use the flash cards by spreading them out on the floor or counter and say, “This is the letter family…” Pick up a card and say, “My name is (letter). What’s your name?” You can be as silly and as inventive with this as you’d like.

You can also ask your child which letters he knows the name of, if you already know he can identify some of them consistently. Have him find those in the flashcards that you have scattered about. Then I would put those on display, calling it his “letter family” and using them for review by pointing at them and naming them on a regular basis.

The Letter of the Week

Display it somewhere

Choose, or let your child choose, one letter per week and put the rest of the cards away.  And if it is a letter that is particularly difficult, give it 2 weeks or more, if needed.

Concentrate on just that one letter. Make it fun and never stressful. Perhaps have your child cut out that letter if she likes to cut, or color a huge cut-out of that letter if she prefers to color, just something she would enjoy. Put it on her bedroom wall or somewhere visible every day as the letter of the week. 

Discuss it casually and fairly often

Talk about that letter, not to the point of exhaustion at one time, but bringing it up as the opportunity arises. Mention it without requiring anything of your child. As a matter of fact, at first, I’d do most of the naming. When we teach our kids what a cow is, we start with showing a picture of a cow, or a real cow, saying, “This is a cow,” “This is a cow,” on and on. We don’t show them a picture of a cow and say, “What is it?” for quite a while.

When you are reading to your child, you could point out the letter of the week, or ask him on a page to find the letter of the week, but not so much that it causes stress during reading times, just casually, and if he doesn’t know, show him and keep going. Remember to never sacrifice the love of books by injecting an exhausting or frustrating drill lesson in the middle of a good book!

Engage the body

Ask your child to try to make the shape of the letter with his body, with his trucks, with pots and pans on the floor, with pieces of paper or anything big for the floor or on a table. Trace the outline of that letter in sand. Use a stick and draw it in the dirt. Make the letter with clay or play doh. Anything that actively engages the body will be especially helpful for your kinesthetic learner.

Make it fun for children that love competition

Write the alphabet (or some of the letters, if it looks too daunting to have so many letters in there at first!) on little pieces of paper and put them in a box, maybe 3 of each letter, and ask, “How fast can you find all of the (letter of the week) that are in the box? Ready, set, go!” And you could do this for the review of the other letters, too, one letter at a time.

The goal is anything that keeps your child hearing the name of that letter while she is looking at it. But one idea at a time. Remember to always keep it fun and add laughter, never to the point of frustration or exhaustion. Start slow and implement only some ideas at first, especially if your child is overwhelmed or has become frustrated with herself already in an attempt to learn her letters.

When she gets something right, have a ‘happy dance’ or a fist pump or whatever makes your child laugh.

Repetition but not exhaustion

Each day, ask what is the name of the letter on his wall? Ask as he is looking at it, maybe before bed, or in the morning. Perhaps even trace over it with his finger as he says it. (If he learns kinesthetically, the more you can get his body involved, the more it will ‘stick’.) If he doesn’t know, just tell him and have him repeat it and trace it as he does. Don’t express disappointment. He will get it, but you don’t want to add undue pressure in the meantime.

These suggestions are meant to appeal to all learning preferences: visual – seeing, coloring, displaying the letter; auditory – talking about, repeating, discussing the letter; kinesthetic – using the body to model the letter, building it, writing it in the dirt or sand using whole body motion…Regardless of your child’s preference, using a variety of techniques increases the likelihood that your child will be able to remember the letter.

Grow the Family of Letters

When your child has learned the letter of the week, add that flashcard to the letter family, wherever you have that displayed. You will want to review these, but again remember to keep it lighthearted and fun. If your child forgets a letter during review, tell her what the name is and do not remove it from her letter family display, just remind yourself to add some casual review of that letter as you come across it during your week.

A Word about Phonics

You could print out small pictures of things that start with that letter and display with the letter of the week so the letter has some associations. For example, the letter “S” could have a snake & a salamander & a sun, etc., but I wouldn’t point out the sounds, I’m only suggesting this as a way for your child to see that the letter has a meaningful USE and is not quite as abstract of a concept. I’d let those things process by association in his brain; as a matter of fact, I wouldn’t stress sounds at all. If your child is overwhelmed learning the name of the letter, it could be more confusing to learn both the name and the sound it makes. That is getting into phonics, and once he knows the names of his letters, there is plenty of time for phonics. Plus, your child will begin to make associations on his own, while you are pointing out the letter of the week as you come across it, in reading or life, the “M” arches at McDonalds, the “S” on the stop sign, people you know whose name begins with the letter of the week, etc. He is going to hear the sound when you say the word, but you are only requiring him to know what the letter is named.

Don’t Stop Reading

Letters, phonics, grammar, punctuation, literature, essays…your child’s language arts career will encompass many skills over the years. The most important thing you can do for future success in this subject (and many others) is to read to your child. With no agenda, no pressures, just enjoying books together. All of the language art skills you want your child to learn begins processing in their brains as they hear and see words on a page tell them engaging stories. Never underestimate the power of reading to your children.

Your child will learn the alphabet. And he will learn how to handle difficult assignments through your stress-free guidance. He will learn that letters aren’t so bad, learning is hard but it can be fun and rewarding, and he will grow in more ways than just letter mastery.