Along Came a Cat

Is there such a thing as inhaling too much cat hair?
I may be asking for a friend…
Or I may be asking because I’m currently covered in it.

As I type on my iPad, I am typing through a thin layer of, you guessed it, cat hair. And the cat was just between my face and my iPad – a sure play for attention – and I breathed too deeply and now I’m quite certain there is a significant amount of cat hair headed straight to my lungs.

I thought the dog hair was bad; now I laugh heartily and weep bitterly at the thought of days of (only) dense dog hair falling onto the floor in mass quantities and weaving itself into the fabric of the living room couch.
Apparently that was not enough of a challenge. Never mind that I have come to terms with the fact that I possess little to no innate housekeeping talent. Never mind that I looked at the dog hair on the floor more than I swiffered it, if we’re being really honest. Never mind that I devised a scheme to have multiple couch covers at the ready for unexpected guests as an alternate plan to actually unweaving the dog hair.

I apparently needed a cat. I didn’t think I had leveled up for that, but what do I know?

A cat’s hair doesn’t fall onto the floor in a layer easily mowed down by the vacuum like dog’s hair. Ha! A cat’s hair is like dandelion seeds on the wind. But less beautiful. Less poetic. Less nutritious in your salad. A cat’s hair departs from the cat in leaps and bounds that would make a professional ballerina blush. A cat’s hair takes to the air and magically finds air currents that cannot be detected with any of our human senses. A cat’s hair may find its way to the ground, but in communal clumps in various and inconspicuous places. Places that only reveal themselves when your guests have just been seated on the brand new couch cover you just whipped out of the drawer as they appeared in your driveway.

Although it hasn’t been proven, I have a theory that a cat hair may spend 6 months or more eluding vacuum, swiffer, and lint roller, floating through your home, briefly alighting on a surface only to summon those magical currents and take flight again.

Lodging in your sinus cavity or the back of your throat or adhering to your clothing seems to be the only 3 places where a cat hair ceases its quest for endless motion. And the clothing one is iffy. Because in an attempt to not look like the crazy cat lady, you’re apt to release it into flight again.

No surface is safe, no casserole exempt, from the intrusion of these feathery, minuscule, almost impossible to detect, hairs.

If you’re looking for a life lesson or a recipe or an informational how-to, I’m sorry to disappoint. This is just a story of a family that didn’t want a cat but found themselves confronted with a skinny, skittish stray with large, innocent eyes. In need of a meal and a home.

A cat that ruined my couch and had kittens in my closet and stays under my feet all. the. time. A cat that crawls into my bed so that I wake up with slits for eyes because my allergies are dramatic like that. A cat that can’t read ‘dog speak’ and continually annoys our alpha female hound dog. A cat that may have come from the streets and had to be coaxed in, but who now never steps a dainty paw outside and refuses to eat her cat food once it touches the floor.

A cat I have completely fallen in love with. Because I’m a sucker, that’s why, and I’m glad I am.

This one’s just for the cat people. 🙋😸

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You may also enjoy:

• Cat owners, some ideas on how to hide that unsightly litter box
• A little more humor: this time, a story about two young dogs in cones after their neuter surgeries. I wasn’t laughing at the time.
• Home décor, pet owner style: wooden couches are easy to cover AND decorate – even if the dog has accidents.